Life Coaching

Conscious Endings

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Conscious Endings

2018 is coming to an end and for some of us it can't come fast enough. See ya later 2018, don't let the door hit you on the way out. It was definitely a shake-up kind of year with plenty of disruptions on both the personal and global levels.  But as always, there's divine perfection in the chaos and a reason for all the events in our lives. 

New beginnings and new endings represent the cyclical nature of our lives, something to be honored and acknowledged when the time is right. They both hold something bittersweet for us, something that reminds us of the impermanence of everything and at the same time that we are always evolving and growing.

As we close out the year, it's important to take some thoughtful time to complete and integrate our spiritual lessons in this Earth School so we can fully engage in a new cycle of creative rebirth in 2019. If we can let go of the energetic dead weight from the past, we clear space for inspiration, clarity and new opportunities to enter our field of potentiality.   Bringing awareness to what's trying to be resolved in the deeper, subconscious realm will lead us to the healing integration we are seeking in order to move powerfully forward into expressing our greatest potential. 

To consciously end your 2018, take out your journal, center yourself with meditation and a quiet space, and then answer the following questions:

1)   Identify 3 things in your life that are trying to end.  What feelings come up when you think about letting go of these things?  Resistance, fear, excitement, sadness, etc. Name them specifically.  Let them speak to you on their terms, fully expressed.

2)   What choices must be made in order to ensure the completion of these endings?  Are there new self-care or boundaries needed to be put in place?

3) Is a new theme(s) trying to emerge in your life? Are you excited for your new creative beginning(s) or does fear come up?

4) Write down the greatest vision you have for yourself in 2019 including how you want to feel, what you’d like to experience, and what kind of person you’d like to become. What choices can you make to begin aligning yourself with this vision?

Boundaries & a Balanced Life

Florence, Italy October 2018 - photo by retreat guest Renee Wills

Florence, Italy October 2018 - photo by retreat guest Renee Wills

This past week on retreat in Chianti, Italy, I had the great privilege to lead a group of women through a series of personal development workshops specifically designed to lead them into greater awareness of how they are co-creating their lives. This group was filled with thoughtful, open-minded, and compassionate women eager to do the self-inquiry it takes to uncover their truth.  I was astounded by their vulnerability and trust in the process and combined with the fun excursions throughout Tuscany, needless to say, it was a wonderful week together.  

After a retreat ends, I generally do some thoughtful journaling and reflecting on the week.  One of the questions that came up during one of the sessions was about Boundaries and how do we integrate them into our lives in a healthy way.  I didn't have time to respond in depth as the session was coming to a close however this question has been floating around in my consciousness since then. During the week I had been challenged with my own question around personal boundaries and how far and for how long you allow someone to trespass in your space, whether it be physical, energetic or psychic. I realized this concept of boundaries is one of great depth and not linear in the least bit because as we strive to move towards a healthier state of being, we find our individual, unique balance of giving and receiving of one’s energy to the world while honoring the fluidity of boundaries and how they can change from day to day. Furthermore, if our goal is to achieve a balanced life, it leads us to question the relationship we have with ourselves and the level of self-control we exert in our own lives. Balance and health start from the inside, building self-trust and self-love, one good choice after another.

We, as individuals, based on our own sensitivity and how we learned to relate (and survive) in the world, grew up with a certain level of tolerance for others. It has occurred to me that the more sensitive and empathic we tend to be, the more we create a habit of giving others abundant allowance to trespass, as we strive to create peace in our surroundings. However, what many of us come to realize over much time and too many negative experiences is that without clear boundaries of our own time and space, there will always be intrusions that inevitably cause us to leak our energy leaving us feeling drained, frustrated, and victimized. In more extreme circumstances, we find ourselves in situations of being in a pattern of allowing abusive behavior, and possibly from a family member. Creating stronger boundaries for ourself within the family dynamic can bring up a lot of resistance and foibles as we find our voice, but it’s an incredibly courageous step forward towards healing, self-love and healthy relationships.

That being said, every situation and every interaction is different and is always presenting us with an opportunity to define what our boundaries are and learn about what our needs are. The process of implementing boundaries into our lives is just that, a process. There is re-programming that needs to take place, a change in our values towards self-love and self-care and a change in our belief that giving to others more than ourselves is the highest way to love or what makes us “good” people.

If you’re setting the intention to create more energy and freedom in your life, here are some self-inquiry questions that with thoughtful consideration could lead you towards beginning a new orientation to healthy boundaries:

1) When and with whom do I feeling most drained in my life? Is there a pattern I can identify? What emotions are present when I feel like I’m being pushed?

2) What emotions come up when I think about telling people “no” or what my needs are? Do I have self-judgment around having stronger boundaries?

3) How would my life change if I were to implement boundaries with others? Identify 1 place in your life that you see an opportunity to shift your boundaries. What steps can you take now to begin the process?

4) Is there an area of your life you feel you could integrate more boundary/self-control with yourself?

I hope these questions have sparked some awareness for you and help you get clearer on who you are and what your needs are. As always, I’m here for extra facilitation and send much love to your process.

With Gratitude,

Michelle